I drive to the barracks to collect his green bag full of dirty ACU's and give him a quick kiss on the lips. He looks thinner in the face and very, very tired. If I am lucky he will get to come home soon. In the mean time half an hour here and there will have to get us by. At least he is not in Iraq again, I tell myself.

I text him tonight, telling him I wish he were here because I miss him. I want to see him again. He texts back and says soon enough, be patient. He sends me a text picture of a waterfall in Washington that he named after me. The memory soothes my lonliness for awhile. I miss the Washington coast I tell him. We'll have to make new memories here, won't we?

Yes.

He asks for a sexy picture of me which I text to him, no longer caring if his friends see it or not. He likes my pictures and it helps him get by.

Good night, my love.

Good night.

I know better than to harrass him to much while he trains. He can't control all things so there is no point in getting upset with him.

Awake. Kids off to school. I run my errands early, before the heat picks up and before traffic gets to busy.

Looking for work is not always fun, especially when I don't know my way around this enormous city. If I take one of the interstates West, then I would take it East to get back home. Deep breath. I can do that. Not bad for a shy, skinny girl who was raised in the country with orchards, fields, and combines being my only entertainment. I would ride my bike two miles on empty country roads just to meet my best friend halfway for a picnic in a field of wildflowers. Quite a difference from driving in the seventh largest city in the U.S.

I set my purse down and check my cell phone. Yeah, the ringer is on just like the last time I checked it. No phone calls. I hate feeling so dependent on someone who can't help me when I need it the most. Moving here has been limiting to say the least. I am completely on my own, which in some ways has been liberating, but when it comes to simple things such as finding a new store or looking for a job, I feel helpless.

I throw the cell phone on the couch as I walk out the door and head across the street to the neighbors house. She is out front for a smoke as usual, and I smile at her. She is barely familiar, yet the only thing closest to familiarity I have here. Another neighbor is with her and they are chatting away as armywives do so well, with an occasional bout of laughter one could probably hear up the street.

I swore at one point in my life that I would never be a lawn chair armywife, that I had better things to do than waste time by hanging out front, chatting with other desperate housewives, no matter how good the gossip may get. But things are different here and if some much needed socialization means sitting out front, then by all means.

The conversation is good and I join in easily, no longer that shy girl from the country. We all agree that eventually even the sweetest girls have to learn some bitchiness in order to survive this life. The eighteen year old across the street has yet to gain confidence as an armywife. She keeps to herself, hides in her house, and shakes when spoken too. I introduced myself to her once and she could barely utter two words. I remember before my husband was in the army, I lived in awe and fear of wives who were married to active duty soldiers. I was afraid they might swallow me whole if I looked at them wrong.

The conversation progressed from the local neighbors, to Tricare, to planning a trip to the range, to our husbands and female soldiers. Ouch. Touchy subject. It's unfortunate some of the situations we have witnessed involving infidelity. I have often wondered why Uncle Sam doesn't just throw all of the soldiers, male and female, into one big bed and just get the giant orgy overwith. Hell, throw in a bunch of wives to make it more realistic.

We have all wondered about odd situations involving our husbands and female soldiers, all in the name of 'army business.' We have seen to much shit go down and what can you do about it? Worry till you can't see straight? Get even? Trust blindly? How about trust and be the best person you can be, so you can at least know you did your part in the marriage, and hope your spouse will show you the same respect and decency you show him. If he doesn't, then bravely move on.

And then get even.